Disney makes a sexy Ursula (er, “sassy” Ursula) costume. Just not in plus sizes. Ya know. Like the character Ursula.
i’m fat. i wear size 18/20 jeans. i’m squishy. i wear a 40D bra. my thighs touch.
i have taken abuse for being fat, just like every other fat person in the USA. for years i was insecure about it. but in recent years i’ve been taking my body back. i do not consider myself to be pretty, but i am not under the illusion that being thinner would make me pretty.
also, i am not unhealthy. i do not eat a steady diet of nothing but cheeseburgers and junk food. being fat does not equal being unhealthy like everyone wants us to believe. people want to believe that being fat automatically makes one unhealthy so that they can feel justified in the persecution of fat people. fat hate is a form of prejudice that goes almost completely unchallenged and is in fact supported by society and the media.
being fat is a part of who i am, but it does not define my existence. i am a fat chick, but that is not all i am. i’m a complete human being, with plenty of quirks and qualities that are completely unrelated to my squishiness.
then again, many of my quirks and qualites ARE related to living a life of squishiness- for example:
-a general immunity to being called ugly, and other petty insults
-a certain degree of empathy towards anyone who has been treated unfairly
-a personal code that involves a refusal to bully people and/or act like a superior bitch and/or walk around acting like my shit doesn’t stink
i won’t lie and say i still don’t have issues accepting my body the way it is.
but i’ve never had a problem accepting anyone else’s body the way it is.
i don’t look at anyone else’s body and instantly form an opinion on how they should or shouldn’t change it. i know i have no right to impose my own standards/insecurities/hangups on them. i know i have no right to tell a person what to do with their body. and i don’t want those rights either.
furthermore, i don’t think fat is ugly.
i am fat.
i am not ugly because of it.
my boyfriend is fat.
my best friend is fat.
my sister is fat.
my mom is fat.
none of them are ugly.
all of them are beautiful.
you might want to rebut my statement by saying my views of their physical beauty is contaminated by my feelings for them. while it may be true that, because i love them all so dearly, i could never see any of them as ugly, i did think my boyfriend and best friend were beautiful before i knew them.
that’s number one.
number two, there are plenty of fat, beautiful strangers out there. you yourself may be one of them.
then again, you may be one of the people who will look at one of the many beautiful fat people i know and call them disgusting, and make jugdgements about not only their eating/excersizing habits, but their personalities and general worth. while that, understandably, pisses me off to a horrific degree, i am willing to keep my shit together and not bitch anyone out unless something nasty is said or done. sound fair? good.
i am not willing, however, to keep my mouth shut about this issue- because whenever i see fat hate, i see red. when you talk shit about fat people, you are talking shit about:
*my best friend
*plenty of other awesome people
and that is not fucking okay.
let’s say, for example, your sister has a fake tan.
i find them unattractive.
i say something like, “eew i saw some fake’n’bake bitch at the mall today, what a skank, doesn’t she know that shit will give her skin cancer? dirty cunt. i bet she has herpes. ugly orange oompa loompa. she needs to go kill herself.”
how does that make you feel?
does that make you want to punch my teeth down my throat?
now, i would never say anything like that.
and i wouldn’t be thinking it, either.
that was just something i dreamed up, based on the kind of nasty shit i’ve heard and/or read that assholes say about fat people.
kindly think about that the next time you open your mouth to spew shit about fatness.
ps: don’t call me “obese,” i’m chunky not diseased. i’m officially taking back the word “fat.” it’s an adjective, not an insult in and of itself.
fat hate is hardly even recognized as a prejudice yet. once it is, people will probably start pretending it doesn’t exist, either. i think that is probably the truth behind the quote, which is problematic, but honestly i said stuff like that before i started making a real concentrated effort to understand what it means to have social privileges (which was not long ago actually). he’s one up on me, because he’s a man, but aside from that, i’ve got all the same privileges he does (white, heterosexual, not physically or mentally handicapped). unpacking and understanding them all is an ongoing effort. because you can’t fix shit that is fucked up without knowing how it is fucked up. not that i know how to fix anything. you know, i’m really not sure what i am trying to say at this point. but yeah.
Kevin Smith’s article in the Guardian today.
On Life Being Fat
My favorite bit was “I learned first-hand that fat people are the recipients of the last remaining socially acceptable prejudice. Racism and sexism will get you ostracised in more enlightened communities, but you can mock fat people all you want.”
Full article here.
Pretty accurate on how fat people are treated. On a flight to Portland, before I could call the flight attendant to ask if there were any seats I could swap to that had an empty seat behind them, I had a woman actually forcibly slam an arm rest on my thigh leaving a bruise rather than verbally asking me if I could/would put it down. In a clear voice that people several seats away could hear, I asked the flight attendant if I could be seated beside someone who did not HATE fat people. I know had I been thin, she never would have ASSAULTED ME using the arm rest.
On another note…
It’s kind of depressing that he still has body image issues, but some people’s journeys take longer than others, and I hope one day he can feel his body is wonderful and sexy.
I haven’t read the article yet but i hate how that quote falls into the “oppression olympics” trap. Fat hate is not “the last acceptable” form of oppression. As a fat black woman, I am/have been the recipient of all three types of oppression mentioned (racism, sexism & fat hate) plus a few that aren’t mentioned here. Please believe me when i say they’re all alive and well, even in (and sometimes especially in) “enlightened” circles.
Living life as a fat person is hard and fat hate is real and awful. But, let’s not fall into the trap of comparing oppressions; there’s no need. We can (and should) acknowledge that fat hate is rampant without claiming that racism or sexism have gone away/ decreased.
article in McGill. reading it. oh sweet. anti-fatphobic in a pretty big university paper.
“One of the main tenets of this movement is the idea of “Health at Every Size.” This paradigm places emphasis on exercising and eating…
Your body is a miracle. It’s the only body you’ll ever have. You only get one chance to live in it and revel in it and all the amazing things it can do and feel. Don’t waste it. No one, on their deathbed, wishes they’d only had fewer orgasms and hated their thighs more. You’re fabulous. Dive in.
of course, it bothers me when assholes call fat people things like ugly or disgusting, and insist that they are unattractive/will never get laid/etc (those people must live in a dream world: look around at all the fat couples, dipshit)… but it also bothers me when people try to defend fat people by saying that ‘some people aren’t shallow.’ like only people who are unconcerned with a prospective partner’s apperance will accept a fat person. that is bullshit. people need to figure out that no standard of beauty is universal. you may not find that fat guy handsome, but someone else definitely does! just like not everyone will agree that such and such an actress is hot, not everyone will agree that random fat person is ugly. trying to defend us fatties by saying ‘oh, not everyone cares about looks’ is patronizing and demeaning. so just accept that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, and that fat people definitely get laid. that is a fact i can personally vouch for (and i know plenty of other fat people who can vouch for it too).
dear fat haters:
eat my ass.
ps: i know i’ve gone on far more eloquent rants but i just… ugh.
conversation about body issues
… that i had with another tumblr user who posts a lot of really offensive stuff about fatness, like this: http://hisblankcanvas.tumblr.com/post/5668062413/fuck-it
awhitemothflew: so. being fat means you can’t be happy or loved, huh? i guess i’m living a lie then.
hisblankcanvas: Never Did I Say That In General Being Fat Means Any Of Those Things. That Is what Being Fat Means In My Mind Based On Personal Experiences And Hardships I’VE Been Through.
awhitemothflew: take a look again at all these posts: that’s exactly the message you are sending. if you yourself have had your self esteem damaged by statements like this, how in the world do you justify perpetuating these harmful negative views? you’re hurting others as well as yourself. if you hate yourself fat, you’re not going to like yourself thin. there are underlying issues that are going unaddressed, and you’re not going to lose them with the weight.
hisblankcanvas: See what you said is not true at all. I LOVE my personality and outlook on everything in my life. I just do not love my weight. You ASSUME that because I call myself fat (as do doctors and the CDC) that I have no self respect, which is not true at all. I am not happy with my body and have tried many ways to fix it. What is the point of you looking at my pictures/blog if you are just going to be argumentative. If i have offended you, then stop looking. Every person in this world has their own opinion and is entitled to express it. Kthanx awhitemothflew: i found these posts in a search- not searching for negativity, mind you, the search was a neutral one- and i do happen to find them VERY offensive; and the fact is, every time i do a similar search, i will find hateful garbage like that “FUCK BEING FAT” post. so i can’t stop looking. it’s out there. that’s number one. number two: you obviously have self-image issues- that is not an assumption. they aren’t going to go away when you are thin.
and you didn’t answer my question: how do you justify posting the kind of stuff that has made YOU unhappy with your body? by perpetuating the beauty myth, you are part of the problem.
hisblankcanvas: I’ve been made unhappy with my body by looking at it. If girls read my blog or look at my pictures and become self loathing or hate being fat that’s on them. I personally hate being fat. No person/opinion/thought/action has made me unhappy with my body. So I “justify” it by saying…obesity is a crippling disease that the world has to deal with and truth is most people are too lazy or think to themselves “I’m happy the way i am, I was born this way” so they don’t change it. Being Fat isn’t healthy. If I’m part of the problem then good…maybe people will realize that in today’s society girls are more overweight then ever before and maybe these girls will do something about it
so then i replied to her again… i made a few points:
*how the whole “no person/opinion/thought/action has made me unhappy with my body” thing sounds like denial
*how whether she wants to take responsibility or not, it IS on her too
*how fat does not equal unhealthy, which i proceeded to explain
and also addressed another post she made, clearly about me, in which she said i was rude and hurting her feelings… how is respectfully disagreeing with someone rude? she can post stuff like “FUCK BEING FAT,” and somehow i’m the one being rude?
she didn’t answer me. instead she got more defensive, and posted some tiny thing about how “hating being fat is not a crime.”
then she answered a message from someone else, who said “sorry you’re getting so much trouble from awhitemothflew, she judges people, she’s in denial et cetera.” she answered back with a thank you, ‘cause she was starting to feel as if she were in the wrong.
wow, wonder why.
it never ceases to amaze me how people can just keep laying their hangups on the rest of the world. and it’s always the people who lack objectivity who claim the person disagreeing with them is hopelessly biased. you can hate yourself for being fat- go ahead! it’s your right, even if i feel sorry for you. but you can’t post hateful nasty bullshit like THIS: http://hisblankcanvas.tumblr.com/post/5654146092/feel-fat-and-ugly
and think it’s okay. because then you’re not just hating on yourself. you’re hating on lots of other people too. then it ceases to be solely your issue and becomes mine as well.
bonus: now she is posting all this positive stuff like “you are beautiful.” but she wasn’t wrong before!!!! :sigh: